Is Jonathan Franzen the Jeb Bush of Literature?

IS JEB "JEBBY" BUSH THE JONATHAN FRANZEN OF POLITICS?

1.) Both are WASPy patrician white guys.

2.) Both are rather stiff in their presentations.

3.) Both are backed by enormous sums of money.

4.) Both represent the mindset of their respective establishments.

5.) Both are being force-fed on the American people.

6.) Both are slow-thinking and "low energy."

7.) Both have notably bland personalities.

What do you think?

Jonathan Franzen's Farewell Tour?

RUMOR HAS IT that much-lauded novelist Jonathan Franzen, entranced by the Derek Jeter farewell to baseball tour, is toying with the idea of doing a farewell tour himself.

"I think it would be neat," proto-hipster Franzen is alleged to have said to his agent. Or maybe to his girlfriend. Or to a coffeeshop barista.

"We could present me in large chain bookstores across the country," Jonathan Franzen suggested. "I wouldn't answer questions-- I don't answer questions-- but it would give the public a chance to see me. You know. Be in my presence. That sort of thing."

"You realize, don't you?" the agent/girlfriend/barista said. "That it would mean you'd have to retire."

"Retire?"

"Yes. You know. Stop writing."

"Stop writing?"

Jonathan Franzen is said to be pondering the implications. He has time. His next big novel isn't due for at least a decade.